by ExP

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This album came about during probably the darkest part of my life so far, following my Dad's admittance into full-time care having been afflicted with dementia. This is my creative attempt to spin the extreme negative I'd been feeling into a positive, feel good, up-beat album. Something to pull me out of the quagmire, so to speak.

So, following a good couple of years writing, and using beats that I'd produced within that time (and some that dated back as far as 2010), "RemarkableUnremarkable" was born.


released July 14, 2017

All tracks written, produced, recorded and mixed by Ben “ExP” Goodwin
Mastered by Ben “DivKid” Wilson
Artwork by Martin Lovegrove
Guitar/Bass by Steve Ling
Additional vocals by Angela Goodwin



all rights reserved


ExP Leeds, UK

West Yorkshire based hip-hop musician from Flame Griller & Tough Crowd

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Track Name: Unremarkable
I stay hidden cos my hidey hole holds my whole hope/
... Everything under one roof, I don’t go/
Out, poking my nose in a globe I can’t control/
I’m never satisfied when I’m too far from home/
But, if you don’t challenge your boundaries then you’re bound to be/
Floundering round ‘till you drown in the ground you seem/
So attached to defend/
No good asking if Ben/
Will make a lasting attempt/
To write a rap without friends/
Cos I need the support, if I’m conceiving a thought/
Need people to agree with it before I even record/
I got noooooo self esteem anymore/
And as I withdraw from society, it’s weakening more/
Cos basically I’m an ego maniac who thrives on feedback/
Forget that, but remember every time someone called me crap/
A tree sap of a 6ft3 chap/
Who needs enemies with inner monologues like we have?//

Nobody, that’s who, I’m unremarkable/
My generation, that’s Who, I’m unremarkable/
Got a few tattoos, I’m unremarkable/
Did ok at school, I’m unremarkable//

(Gotta do a second verse)... I forgot how to write ‘em/
So used to doing one verse and hoping to God it’s inspiring/
And nine times out of ten it’s probably not/
Even this might end up deleted from my desktop/
I hate being in the same place when people play my music/
Make sense of that, I know I was born to do this/
But you play my new ish with me in the room/
And I’ll either cringe, turn it off, or leave ‘till you do/
Happy for people to play it though, fill your boots/
I’m proud enough of the sound of it, I mainly cringe at you/
Cos I’m expecting you to take it in but know that you can’t/
For example I wrote this track at 1 AM in the dark/
And changed this word and that word and made sure it fitted/
And the first time you play it, all that work’s done in minutes/
And you can judge it like a piece of art/
Up to you if it leaves a mark/
And that’s why I love it when people start/
With that whole “rap is too fast for me” malarkey/
“I don’t mind the music but only partly/
The guy saying words kinda ruined the party”/
And we turn up to headline they say, “who are we?”//


... Well, kinda did and didn’t/
In middle school my folks thought not enough shits were given/
So I’d do work set for me to up my level/
It gave the impression I was more intelligent than the rebels/
But a little home schooling only takes you so far/
And I paid attention less cos I thought I was smart/
...And people caught up while I slowed right down/
Thought I’d regret it but I don’t right now/
A degree gets you nothing but debt/
Debt gets you nothing but vexed/
Being vexed gets you nothing but stressed/
Being stressed gets you nothing but death/
And I love living: it’s the best, there’s not enough of it left/
But I’ve bin wallowing a few years with family issues/
Coulda done an album tryna make you grab your tissues/
But I’d rather stay upbeat, with my usual grin/
And make people say, “ExP!... I don’t know who that is”//

Track Name: Remarkable
So don’t worry if you think you’re not remarkable/
Most humans think they haven’t come far at all/
And that’s the truth but don’t just take it from me...
You were made in a star and every particle/
Came together to make you the finished article/
The chance of you defies all probability (believe, so leave, it be, you’ll see)//

You are the infinitesimal un-likeliness/
The result of everything since the big bang provided us/
With all the elements that make life from dust/
And enough time to go from simple life to... “huh?”/
Somehow we perceive and have a consciousness/
But there’s a consequence, what we want is just/
Confused between our instincts from prehistoric times/
Food, shelter and passing our genetics down the line/
And modern times, how we feel, how they feel about you/
What you think, what you want, what you needed to do/
We’re the intellectual equivalent of supermarket shopping/
Too much choice, too much freedom, too much option/
Some take what they see: get straight off the aisle/
Some stand making decisions, it may take them a while/
Some of them are straight in denial and often miss out/
But I tell you I hate shopping, I’m forever in doubt/
I’m not one of the celebrities - done nothing with my life/
My accomplishments are minimal, got lucky with my wife/
I got lucky with my current job and lucky with my family/
Got lucky being born at all, but luck is not a plan B/
It’s not a fall back - it’s funny how we exist/
Just keep on plodding up a mountain of mist/
Knowing at some point: we’ll fall down off a cliff/
And your brain gets the better of you, drowns you in lists/
...You can’t relax before you tick ‘em off/
For every little job you do another sixty’s not/
I’ve discovered you’re either a pessimist with too much to do/
Or a hedonist who snoozed and he losed... lost//


I knew I wanted to make music for the rest of my days/
...And that’s all I’ve done and now the time is ebbing away/
And I’ve killed many projects cos they weren’t the best ones I made/
And then I wrote this stuff and still thought that the message was vague/
And recently I’ve been waking every day in a rage/
Angry at each and every thing I feel that gets in my way/
Until I realised everything I have is not here to stay/
And I should even be thankful for things that feel like a pain/
Cos feeling feelings is the very definition of life/
And needing reasons for existing’s inefficient on time/
And each and every person feels they need a piece of the pie/
They’re either greedy or they seem to lose their seat in the line/
I’ve been in pieces recently, the Grim Reaper will hide/
And wait until you breathe easy then unreasonably strike/
And leave your family devastated who plea for rewind/
...But this is all part of a human being’s design/
And we’re so quick to forget that we’re a miracle/
The statistics on people’s happiness these days is pitiful/
They’ll say you should become something to be an individual/
But you’re the original and greatest there’s ever been of you//

Track Name: Sex Panther (Interlude)
(60% of the time) rappers talk about women every time/
And we enjoyed Biggie’s “A Friend of Mine”/
But never mind that, in the 90s it was effective/
And it’s still awkward as hell listening to the sex skits/
I mean, what possesses anyone to record, fake or not/
A load of moaning and groaning in between your famous songs/
To prove, what? You get ladies? Or ladies get you?/
Does the idea that we think you’ve never done it vex you?/
Is this school again? Are we back in 6th form?/
Laughing at virgins, chatting about FHM and porn/
Can we accept that people have sex and move on with our lives?/
Or is it cos sex sells? I would not be surprised/
Now evolution makes us obsess over it/
Releases all sorts of endorphins to reward so it is/
Unsurprising that it’s a focus of our everyday lives/
But we’ve evolved to be civilized, men can take wives/
Men can override this instinct to spread their chuffin’ seed/
That was instilled in us way before we hung from trees/
Or can we? Is that the point, I can already sense laughter/
Cos you believe deep down every man is a (sex panther)/
That’s why women who sleep around are “sluts”
and men who do are “pimps”/
Kings are given many women, it’s been like that ever since/
And the worst thing is you see the way fame attracts some lasses/
Giving themselves away with barely chance to bat their lashes/
I pray If I have a daughter she’s not prey for the (sex panther)s/
My nieces get older every day, kids TV gets blander/
And the next step is to get blathered, I should have had a godson/
Cos then I wouldn’t have had to purchase a bloomin’ shotgun//
Track Name: Work Is Shit
Work is so shit/
Get me out of this office/
This place is so full of dicks/
I don’t know why I don’t quit/
(I said that)
Work is so shit...

So I gibbed it off/
They laughed a bit, “he’s off to do his hippy hop”/
...Flippin nobs, this is exactly what I mean/
You’ve got some proper work done, I’ve got some proper dreams/
Don’t really want to scheme from behind a computer screen/
Could be out there in the real world successfully being me/
But money is the problem there with all of that/
So if you’re still stuck in there learn alt and tab/
Quick trick to help you avoid your soulless acts/
Carve your dreams from their tablets then call a cab/
Only thing some jobs are good for is financing your idea/
So let me tell you quite clear, don’t waste your cash on Ikea/
Or an extra five beers on a Friday night, dear/
Get your mind in gear, why you in here?/
First answer is you love it and you’d never leave your job/
I can’t argue with that, and you don’t need this song/
Second is you don’t know what you wanna do/
You don’t hate the job, it’s ok, but not for you/
Third is you hate your job and it’s not what you need/
And by now you should know my thoughts on that: you gotta leave//


Work is so shit.../
It’s quite alarming/
Companies are too big when they need an HR department/
And you’re no longer a person you’re an allocated resource/
They might depend on you but you’re expendable, of course/
More people hate their jobs in big offices but gotta live for the
promises that one day they might be bosseses/
“Congrats you’re now a bosseses, your first act as leader?/
Take instructions from above and pass it on beneath ya”/
That sounds familiar, but they’ll be willing ya to carry on ‘till they’re killing ya/
Take your work home and let it fill in the/
Gaps...between sleeping and eating/
And you can manage eating and working, I seen you this evening/
Microwaving summat and returning to your spreadsheet/
But only cos you’re scared of ending up a deadbeat/
Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m not.../
Stress-related illnesses are not to be mocked/
But yet, people are still wanting the job/
Knowing full well it might kill them off/
What the hell is wrong with you dumb guys?/
Be done with that bullshite/
Didn’t anybody say you’ve got one life?!//


Work is so shit.../
And I feel for you/
The worst stress is in public servitude/
Teachers and doctors dreaming to offer/
Human beings an option but our government
is squeezing them often/
I guess these are the problems: if you’re unhappy you quit/
Then a public service is declared bad and unfit/
And it gets dissected, sold off and privatised/
And you might get a job - there - with a nicer rise/
Cos you just want to help people, and I’d advise/
You do the best for you, cos life’s a prize/
But to the...pieces of crap who didn’t see what we had/
And only did it all for some indecent reason like cash/
You are the worst type of scum, cos you see the vulnerable/
And expect them to sort themselves out, you’re full of bull/
One job where you should make the world better is politician/
If you don’t like what you do, why don’t you quit then?//
(Work is so shit)
Track Name: I Don't Know Where It Is
Hey! It’s a marvellous day/
And I wish I could always wake up and start it this way/
Harder to make the best of life when you hardly create/
And sit in a rut, doing stuff, that partly you hate/
You might starve if you take time away from that grind/
Every penny I make, it ain’t even mine/
Put patience sometimes leads to the best/
Sometimes it dunt/
Maybe wait and see what’s ahead/
Maybe just get to the front/
My advice is irrelevant and fairly unhelpful/
But an album with me just talking to myself is well dull/
So I have to lie like I’m talking to you/
It’s awkward and true, rap is just a guy performing this to/
A flippin’ mirror/
Is this filler? Or real conscious rap?/
They won’t listen they just nod and that/
But you do, so thanks for listening it means a lot/
This is where I reel most my secrets off…
And what?//

Looked for my bad mood (I don’t know where it is)/
The frown I had tattooed (I don’t know where it is)/
I haven’t got a damn clue (I don’t know where it is)/
I have to ask you (I don’t know where it is)/
Heaven’s a place on earth (I don’t know where it is)/
It sits within a universe (I don’t know where it is)/
Which sits within a multiverse (I don’t know where it is)/
Scientists are conducting research (They don’t know where it is)//

We don’t know anything/
Still there’s people who say they’re summat big and we’re crediting ‘em/
People who say they’re geniuses, but they’ve never bin/
Still they benefit, the editors of newspapers are editing and getting us
unsettled making us hate each other and everything/
The clever thing is how they operate/
Make us concentrate on what they say we wanna hate/
If we got together and fought it, they’d definitely forfeit/
Instead they extend credit to corporates and get us to fork it/
Out, from our debt ridden lives/
Uplifting track to this - yeah, big surprise/
It’s important to have perspective, but your head fits/
Only so much depressed bits, before it gets sick/
Change the world for the good, not cos it’s bad/
Wanna be happy cos I’m happy not cos it’s opposite sad/
Rather keep the sentiment from the top of the track/
But also don’t wanna avoid every problem and task//

I had a to do list (I don’t know where it is)/
But the honest truth is (I don’t know where it is)/
Think I had a clue, shit (I don’t know where it is)/
But I can’t compute it (I don’t know where it is)/
Where did the time go? (I don’t know where it is)/
Summat I’m trying to find though (I don’t know where it is)/
If I knew where then I’d go (I don’t know where it is)/
If the answer’s not on my phone (I don’t know where it is)//

Heyy! It’s a wonderful life/
Even George Bailey’s happy end was just kind of alright/
No justice for the bad guy and the victory/
Was George successfully seeing inwardly/
The trick for me/
Was being too busy to ever notice my negativity/
But history.../
Is always repeating and I’m stalked by my demons/
The reasons, I ignore my achievements/
And focus on the evil voice/
Telling me I’m not the people’s choice/
I’m barely even their ceiling foist/
A stain on life’s roof/
But that ain’t the right truth/
My brain can fight too/
Just train and buy fruit/
Regain your mind’s youth/
When they’d say, “you might lose”/
You’d say, “yeah right dude”/
And make ‘em bite through/
That humble pie, because fuck them guys/
No-one can tell you who you are it’s your chuffin’ life...!//
Track Name: Meh
...I say “meh” to it/
Cos I’m fed up of not getting the best of it/
I sit around all down cos I’m stressed and shit/
But life’s far too short so to heck with it/
Mek a tit outta myself get vexed a bit/
But lately, things seem like they’re extra big/
When really...all I need is an exorcist/
...To get rid of the spirit of the pessimist/
So forget the shit, I need to concentrate/
There’s a lot of wasted time I need to compensate/
Used to do a song a day ‘till I got long int face/
And who cares whether it’s summat that you want to rate?/
...I’ve only just discovered that I’ve got no fate/
And one day, I’ll be laying in a box and grave/
Or even burnt to ashes after songs of praise/
I’d rather be here than there that’s the concept mate/
(Meh) should be my life’s motto/
Life’s proper good in the hood when I’m blotto/
But I wake up the next day with a head like “uh ohhh”/
Probably shouldn’ta said what I said and kept my gob closed/
I’ve got loads of regrets that are similar still/
There’s no point killing yourself over spilling the milk/
I never wanted to be King of the Hill/
Just a diligent civilian that’s written it ill/
I made a beat a week decided to give it a rest/
There were nuff people commenting, for this I was blessed/
But there’s only so long the internet can big up ya chest/
Gotta get out in the real world and give it your best/
Cos at the end of the day, it’s just a pen and a page/
A guy called Ben on a stage, who remembers the days/
Forever amazed, in HMV, spending his wage/
Getting Brand New Second Hand or some Eminem, Dre/
Some venomous Cage whatever, it’s irrelevant mate/
Cos it’s twenty seventeen, I’ve bin checking the date/
Nothing worse than saying that, cos with every play/
From twenty eighteen onwards it’ll sound terribly aged/
Anyway, generally everybody’s obsessed with the fame/
Whatever happened to making art for the sake of it mate?/
If it’s getting on top of you and you aren’t tekin the strain/
Take a load off your back and remember to say...
“Meh” to it mate//
Track Name: Trivia
Raw I’ma give it to ya/
Here’s some trivia/
“Sucre” is the capital of Bolivia
...Google was originally named “Backrub”/
Benjamin Franklin imported America’s first bathtub/
Some cats are allergic to humans/
The measure of quantity of visual light is a “lumen”/
I’m assuming you know it all mate, but/
Bubble wrap was originally intended as wallpaper/
Remember when you watched a DVD/
That anti-pirate thing you couldn’t skip easily/
Saying you wouldn’t steal a car or a TV screen?/
The backing music was used illegally/
Glitter can be used as forensic evidence/
In Victorian times pineapples were a symbol of decadence/
And ever since I had the police round, mate/
I found the CIA read 5 million tweets a day/
Piece of cake, why do we say piece of cake?/
They used cake back in the day as a prize giveaway/
David Walliams isn’t gay/
Simon Cowell is, he’s spent millions to say he ain’t/
The strongest argument for God is this one:/
Who made the moon 400 times closer than the Sun?/
The Sun’s 400 times bigger than the moon so/
They fit exactly over one another, well you know/
Russia’s surface area’s greater than Pluto/
In Japan it’s good luck for your kid to cry at a sumo/
“Attempted murder” is the collective noun for two crows/
Hans Christian Andersen wrote “Emperor’s New Clothes”/
For every human there’s 1.6 million ants/
...These are my top vinegar facts/
November 1st is National Vinegar Day/
Use white vinegar on wine stains to make them go away/
That’s enough vinegar trivia/
The word for left-handed was originally “sinister”/
Sir Robert Walpole was Great Britain’s initial Prime Minister/
The Dominican Republic is different from Dominica/
Most kids can count a hundred by age 6/
Will Smith turned down being Neo in Matrix/
1567, the man with the biggest beard alive/
Trips over it, running from a fire, and dies/
Tsutomu Yamaguchi survived two atomic bombs/
Francois Marin invented the vol au vent/
1970 was San Diego’s first “Comic Con”/
Mulder and Scully in real life never got along/
Uranus was the first planet discovered by telescope/
The first domesticated animal was a goat/
Attack, sustain and decay of sound is its “envelope”/
Some bike races take place in a velodrome/
“Melatonin” is a hormone that anticipates the night/
Rocky Marciano never lost a fight/
The smallest kite to fly is 5 mill high/
A world war code-breaker is mother to Bill Nye/ was the first website/
42inch is average British male chest size/
Apparently 36D is average breast size/
A hundred quid in cash is the Crufts’ best prize//
Track Name: The Brain (Interlude)
...How does thinking work?/
I think I kinda understand that the brain consists of nerves/
And little surges of electricity fizz between in bursts/ words/
While others make you sit, or curse, or shit, or search, or quit, or hurt,
or live, or learn, or liver work/
Or scribble verse, or kick some dirt, or listen, burp, or hit a person, or
attempt to consider infinity/
Or think of a hundred things then go back to what you
thought originally/
It simply is the pinnacle of what we live and breathe/
This thinking thing, the interlinking king of everything we see/
The most complex structure in the known universe/
It’s ludicrous that in the queue of supreme evolution you’d be first/
But there you are with that thing in your head/
Calculating your every move, interpreting every step/
Processing the smell, the sound, yeah I’ve been through this
there’s loads/
And then translating that and telling you so you know…/
...You gotta love the brain/
Everybody’s got one and though they look the same/
Each one is individual/
It’s something of a miracle/
They’re full of everything you do/
Without it there just isn’t you...!/
...You gotta love the brain/
‘Bout 1.5 kilo is what they weigh/
Billions of neurons, connected by synapses/
Communicating via axons which are protoplasmic//
Track Name: We Don't Do That
This is for the pupils in school with no attention span/
And the teachers that know that and scrap the lesson plan/
For the people who fought bureaucracy and lost/
Trying to help their fellow man when people were yelling, “stop”/
For the red tape cutters and the rule benders/
Sometimes you’ve gotta play red light roulette with your fuel sensor/
Just to get a bit further than they tell you you can/
Get your head out the sand but don’t walk around like the elephant man/
With your head in a blan...ket you’re a human, go and tell ‘em your plan/
And if you don’t have one help someone you believe in/
Even, if the end result is not achievement/
Barely time to breathe in before the time flies/
Life is a sci-fi but we don’t have 5 lives/
Or a couple of continues so that we can come back/
And have another crack at the big boss and all his crap/
But there’ll be, wins and losses every walk of life/
And if you hide from the failure life’s short and shite/
Better facing your fears cos there’s more to fight/
If you can’t make the world better make Yorkshire right//

We just move forward we don’t move back/
...We don’t do that/
If’ya don’t help Yorkshire then don’t move back/
...We don’t do that/
We don’t cut corners to make you cash/
...We don’t do that/
We don’t take orders or take your crap.../
...We don’t do that//

West Yorkshire is the place, and it’s cold and it rains/
But we know the terrain, it’s God’s own, and they’re saying/
They wanna frack it and destroy it and then keep the profit/
Chemicals will leak across it, we need to stop it/
Cos: London sees the North as a faeces deposit/
Let’s see how they do when tides rise and leave ‘em bobbin/
But for now they’ll cut our flood defence budget and wonder/
Why the very next year we’re a couple feet under/
We suffer in winter, and we suffer in summer/
And we suck up to the rich cos of a couple of numbers/
Electronically stored on databases like they can’t erase it/
And replace it and say it’s gone without a trace and they sit/
And watch the world collapse in the lap of luxury/
While the rest of us riot, loot and become a bunch of thieves/
Over a trap we put ourselves in, grafting for the selfish/
Exchanging cash for basics and the crap we put on shelving/
Crack on getting back to what actually makes us healthy/
But they’ll tell you: don’t do that, you’ll do yourself in//


How can you have cash for nuclear submarines/
But cut health services cos there’s not enough for me?/
Where’s the money coming from to pay for defence/
When there’s a housing shortage? It doesn’t make any sense/
For £350 mill we can renovate the palace/
For unknown quantities of gas we can rape the planet/
I’m a remoaner and a lefty, a socialist scum/
Fuck the Times, Express, Telegraph, Mail and the Sun/
Contributions are the problem with politics/
The side with the most golden handshakes has gotta win/
The right fight for corporations , the left for little people/
7 in 10 MPs are millionaires, are we equal?/
“Do you want unsuccessful people to run the country?”/
Do you count inheritance as success you numpty?/
Privilege is quickly forgotten by those that have it/
Like, people on benefits are morose and savvy/
But what’s the difference between a government propping you up/
And your parents bailing you out often enough?/
I can’t lie, I’ve wanted for nothing/
I shouldn’t have to feel guilty that I’ve not really suffered/
But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be responsible/
When hospitals and hostels are shut down
to cut the costs where possible it’s horrible/
I need to get in gear, we could all do some more good/
For those that are fighting - keep moving forward//

Track Name: Stick In The Mud
When I die I want everybody to go for a drink/
And leave cos it’s pricey and the music is shit/
King Antisocial not born for the nightlife/
I’m slippers and pipe after dinner and wine with my wife/
And nobody else.../
Here’s some advice, I hope that it helps/
People are arseholes, I know I can tell/
Out on a Friday night, or at home by yourself/
But for me, I’d rather watch the British women swimming team/
Than sit in a pinkish limousine on my way to a flippin’ “Cream”/
For a dance and a rave/
“Where’d you meet your missus?” I was dancing away/
But that was different, that was back in the day/
Now I’m older and I’m grumpy and I’m stuck in my ways/
“Dunt your missus like to danc...”
...Stop interrupting me mate/
I’m trying to make a point about how it’s rubbish to rave/
How it’s rubbish to pay, a couple hundred for a/
Glass of summat you coulda made from your cupboard today/
Then you can shout at your mates over loud shit songs/
And have a dance with your dignity…oh it’s gone/
Shame for you, it’s not a shame for me/
Not saving up to kill my liver for a daily fee/
But with each chosen night that I don’t go to I/
Can’t complain if I’ve got no social life//

Stick in the Mud, it is so good/
To never go out for a drink to a club/
Stick in the Mud, it is so good/
To never go out on the piss to a pub//

So I feel I’ve got no mates left/
I may as well up sticks and head stage left/
Jump on the M62 head straight west/
Get a bigger house, make a great nest/
But the reason I’m feeling there’s nobody left/
I’m the antisocial one who’s stubborn as heck/
And hasn’t been out for a pint for a while/
Without a frown, or pout but a smile/
Ready to spout all types of denial/
About how I’m sound and my life int a pile/
Of steaming dog turd without seeming awkward/
Don’t generally speak how you feel in Yorkshire/
Stiff upper lip with a zip/
But getting pissed quickly unzips/
Soon you’re telling your mates missus she’s shit/
And isn’t good enough for him, like you think she’s a bitch/
Wake up the next day, brain in a messed state/
Wait, did I just say I hated my good mates lass?/
Didn’t mean that/
Can I take it back?/
Damage kinda done/
Feelin like a twat/
Cheers alcohol you’re the best/
Now I’m in a whole other mess/
This is why I don’t go for a Becks/
And just stay inside with smoke in my chest/
Feeling old and depressed//


When you leave without saying “bye” it’s called a “French Exit”/
When you put idiots in charge you get Brexit/
When you give lads booze you get sexists/
Is there a girl over 18 that hasn’t been molested?/
By a guy, getting touchy and feely/
Trying to justify he was drunk, was he really?/
Or does every man just love to reveal he/
Is a mammal that requires rape just to feel he/
Passed, his sperm down the line/
The world is designed to further his climb/
To the top - adverts are so posed/
Hip-hop with endless reference to “those hoes”/
The idea a woman can look so-so/
And isn’t worth your time and effort with those clothes/
Get the new “this” and please pay for “that”/
Face up facts, it’s the makeup mask that’ll make those lads undertake
that age old task/
Find your inner Kate Moss that’s/
Just what we all want/
...Add’s just as important/
...But said that - just cos we all nod/
But deep down we lust for a jaw drop/
Or a heart throb, or a super model/
But you won’t find love in your two McDonalds/
I’m not out doing battle on Tinder and stuff/
Perhaps if I hadn’t bumped into my love/
And that’s why our social life int up to much/
We’re in, just a couple of sticks in the mud//....

Track Name: Ode To The Internet
Before I get started, this is what I need to get out/
I have well over 12 different email accounts/
4 or 5 websites, yeah they’re Wordpress who gives a damn?/
I’ve got 7 Twitter accounts and 5 on Instagram/
I’ve got 4 Facebook accounts and that’s that/
Fuck off with your Snapchat/
And truly the internet’s a wondrous place/
Where the information you’re after is just on page/
...So when you sit around with a blunt with your mates/
And say, “do you remember that film with um...whatshisface/
You know the guy who was in the other film, with Ryan McGee?”/
Now you can just sit in silence and go on IMDB/
So why do I need, some wifi, every time that I pee/
So I can whatsapp back to some guys I’ve not seen/
For five weeks cos I’ve been glueing my eyes to a screen/
Sending orders and using Excel to finance my dreams?/
My dream to become...I dunno, self sufficient?!/
The internet’s been the reason I never held positions/
In offices or jobs for more than one or two years/
Cos it allowed me the opportunity to run from my fears:/
I fear getting up early every day I’m alive/
I fear doing things I don’t wanna do, and I’ve tried/
I’m not saying I won’t fight if it’s be snuffed or survive/
But if it doesn’t fit in my plans it can fuck off and die/
I’m lucky my life didn’t collapse, but because of the net/
I found beats and beat making, rap forums and met/
Some like-minded dudes who helped me on the right road/
Sites like Soundclick where I would download/
A load of people’s beats whether they knew or perhaps they didn’t erm.../
It didn’t matter I was never gonna cash in on them/
Important to build and destroy when you’re starting your craft/
Can’t get hung up on the same track when it is crap/
And the net gave me a chance to see what worked and didn’t/
Instead of thinking I was good and was worth a listen/
But look at it now, I’ve gotta say I’m tired of it/
As this album came together I was frightened of it/
Why should I sit, for hours and hours typing some script/
And post it on Facebook and no-one like or commit?/
I can admit I’ve mainly relied on the net for a buzz/
And that means listeners are disconnected from us/
And yes I can push a track fresh and mastered today/
But there’s a million other artists doing exactly the same/
So that personal touch is gone and it’s why I have to hate it/
How do you get music out there when the market’s saturated?/
I’ve done gigs, I’ve done Twitter, I’ve done Instagram/
I’ve done chatting to people after, I’ve done battle of the bands/
I’ve done emailing, releasing each month, releasing weekly/
I’ve done pay up front, pay as you go, even freebies/
But at the end it’s who you know, definitely/
Every success seems to be garnered from celebrities/
Who with an effortless tweet can make you fresh for a week/
Suddenly sell a load of albums cos they mention you. Sweet!/
Or alternatively you got someone on the inside/
So don’t think for a second that with hard work and pride/
That people will take notice you’ve gotta know someone good/
Even if they know someone who knows someone who knows someone, but/
I can guarantee every top artist is big for a reason/
It’s nowt to do with their music, but the company they’re keeping/
Or summat else, they mighta gone viral/
But then UniLad or similar controls my fight for survival/
So to be honest with you, the net has both fed and starved me/
It has everything from kittens and Kevin Hart memes/
To answers to every question I could possibly ask/
The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in my pocket or grasp/
To be fair to it what more could it possibly have?/
But the more I spend time on it the more I want it to crash/
Couldn’t be more thankful for it, saving my time and effort/
Couldn’t hate it more, wasting my life forever/
So, mostly I’d admit: what we know is down to it/
But I’m hoping after this, we can tone it down a bit//
Track Name: Double Rainbow (Interlude)
When life gives me rain, hail, snow/
I see a double rainbow and say, “hell no”/
There’s so many reasons for me to let go/
I try and find the silver lining or rainbow/
So...when life gives you rain, hail, snow: give it to ‘em/
I’ve been getting used to living through the big illusion/
That death’ll never happen, if it does it’s never gruesome/
But then dementia comes along and changes my conclusion/
Can’t live for the day, I got stuff to do tomorrow/
The future to plan for and moments I’d like to borrow/
And though my life’s a doddle, others fighting through their sorrow/
I bin getting angry every chance I’ve had, but at what though?/
(It’s a double rainbow all the way)
Awesome mate/
I should have told myself I’ve got more to gain/
All this rage is surely pain being re-routed in my brain/
At the same time I’d forgotten creating again/
...and...I can’t recommend it enough/
It’s so splendid sitting mending yourself doing what you love/
And life is such a rush, hard to fit it in with what’s/
Expected of you, but remember what you doing on this crust?/
...cos...I ant got a clue/
And it’s honestly true, I said it was enjoying the view/
Appreciating the sounds, smells, or senses you can/
But the anger just takes over and the crap hits the fan/
...deep breath, focus on the double rainbow/
Force myself from bed even if I wear the same clothes/
Try and crack a smile too, even if it weighs loads/
Can’t let the love get defeated by the hate so/
When life gives me rain, hail, snow/
I see a double rainbow and say “hell no”/
There’s so many reasons for me to let go/
I try and find the silver lining or (rainbow)/
Yo, when life gives you rain, hail, snow/
See a double rainbow and say “hell no”/
There’s so many reasons for you to let go/
Try to find the silver lining or rainbow/
Just know life is the fight you postpone/
Putting off death ‘till the final choke hold/
When the Grim Reaper comes I won’t go/
But he runs fast, I can only jog slow/
So when I’m thinking life is worse than so-so/
Gotta act like the after life’s a no go/
Instead of feeling anger and agro/
Face the downpour check the (double rainbow)/
Track Name: Just Want Some Food
I was an active child/
I didn’t run the fastest mile/
But went to basketball practice while/
I grew up: when school finishes I walked home with fish and chips/
Then had my tea, was still thin as shit/
All the chocolates at Christmases: nothing/
My Dad said it wouldn’t last and he wasn’t bluffing/
By the time I was 20 I was putting on stuffing/
Over 30 now and I’m battling the muffins/
Two on the side of me, one by the side of me/
Look at the sight of me, looks like I might have been/ gun eat loads/
I look at stuff I used to eat and put on kilos/
So I aim to exercise, cardio, breathing/
If I’ve sat through the day then I’ll start in the evening/
Sometimes, just getting off my arse is achievement/
No matter what I’m doing, I’d rather be eating//

I try to ignore it - think of summat to do/
But at the end of the day I just want some food/
Try to suppress it, have a drink of my juice/
Dehrydrated or do I... just want some food?/
Beef done to blue, beans, buns and soup/
Greased onion loops, cheese, mutton stew/
These crumbs’ll do...I just want some food//

I’m not a weight watcher I enjoy the sins/
And I’m too skint to ever join a gym/
Cos once they got your cash you can avoid ‘em then/
Lose pounds while gaining them, annoying innit?/
Flippin’ metabolism.../
When I was a kid, all the fat went missing/
Now I can collect it in a standard sitting/
And have to work it off with some exercise/
Apparently running is the best for time/
Half hour, 500 calories, you make up after/
That’s the equivalent of four bacon rashers/
Bread takes you past that as you make a sandwich/
And that’s just a snack before the main attraction/
Considered trying to suppress my appetite/
...and not eat anything after nine/
But so far...I never last the night/
Wake up dreaming of eating my bastard wife!...//

I try to ignore it - think of summat to do/
But at the end of the day I just want some food/
Try to suppress it, have a drink of my juice/
Dehrydrated or do I... just want some food?/
Pizzas for two, each one for you/
Peas someone grew, I need something soon/
These crumbs’ll do...I just want some food//

I guess the moral of the story is you’re not alone if you’re the kid/
Who stuffs their face in boredom then rings up and places orders/
For a couple plates of korma and some butter based tandoori/
With a bunch of mates who sort of, don’t quite, finish all their plate/
So you look at them all awkward cos you’re not too full to force some/
Extra curry down your jaws and rub your tummy say it’s awesome/
Call a guy and maybe score some, roll a blunt and share a portion/
Then get up and take a short run to the Co-Op for some cake/
Cos cake, is the best thing on the planet/
And I make a mean lemon drizzle goddamnit/
This is a piece of white chocolate that I didn’t deserve/
That pain during exercise drives me flippin’ berserk/
I’ve been playing 5-a-side and I’ve bin on a bike/
Go for a run twice, even indoor climb/
Give it a go though I’m shite cos despite my height/
I have trouble lifting one body plus all the pies//

I try to ignore it - think of summat to do/
But at the end of the day I just want some food/
Try to suppress it, have a drink of my juice/
Dehydrated or do I... just want some food?/
I need some to chew, sheep: lambs or ewes/
In leaves of bamboo, cheap Asda choux/
These crumbs’ll do...I just want some food//
Track Name: We Can Do It Together
Trying to write a feel good song in bad times/
Trying to look straight ahead but paths wind/
Keep my head up and follow the cat eyes/
Every time I steady the ship, I capsize/
Pastimes pass time and that’s fine/
But zips by and it’s gone and that’s life/
I act like I’m invincible and have time/
Is dementia genetic am I stuck on my Dad’s side?/
Who knows, kudos to you though/
It’s enough waking up without wanting to judo/
Chop...every person who gets in your way/
When you didn’t even wanna bother
getting up today//

But the blues ain’t forever/ x2
Just the usual weather/ x2
This int a foolish endeavour/ x2
We can do it together// x2
Keep having dreams/
Even if no-one believes in them/
Breathe in and be free/
Things aren’t as bleak as they seem/
Keep having dreams/
Even if no-one believes in them/
Breathe out any doubt/
Things aren’t as bleak as they seem//

Trying to write a feel good song but feel crap/
Mental health grabs the top of your noggin and peels back/
Or kicks the heck out of your energy with steel caps/
...Everyone’s self esteem reveals gaps/
But the person in charge is you/
Many simple tasks we can hardly do/
...Waking up in the morning is carnage too/
Wanna kill yourself before you’ve had a brew/
Stop...put the kettle on/
Put some good hip-hop or some metal on/
Don’t put the news or the telly on/
And don’t take any crap from anyone//


Tried to write a feel good song but hate lots/
Posed selfie taking, likes and faceswaps/
Celebrity worship, sycophants, name drops/
That factory they have in hell that makes pop/
If there’s a bad smell people don’t wanna sniff it/
But bad sounds in your ears - people live with it/
You are the product - of what you put in your body/
That’s why everyone seems to cut or they copy/
Couldn’t we probably start again and agree that love for a hobby’s/
A greater purpose than needing people to look at you properly?/
Cos you emulate them and you look like twins/
We get the blues sometimes cos we don’t fit in//


Tried to write a feel good album, guess what?/
It still came out a little jaded and pissed off/
But I did all the production and there’s no guest spots/
And it makes me smile so I gave it my best shot/
I needed this the reason is my recent thing is being miserable/
I’m stuck between this feeling that I’m pitiful/
For not being a stronger individual/
Versus falling apart cos my Dad’s in an assisted living home/
...Cos people have got it worse/
And everybody dies, at least he was there from birth/
At least he was spared the curse/
Of being aware that we are despairing at the unfairness as people
prepare him to leave the earth/...//
Track Name: Trivia (Bonus)
Skyscrapers don't collapse when plane's hit ‘em/
Twin Towers and Building 7 were controlled demolitions/
Don't get me started on the Pentagon/
The FBI removed all frames of footage except for one/
What was to gain from a government attacking itself?/
A reason to attack Iraq, Afghanistan and as well/
Keep people afraid, plus there's money in war/
Plus all the world trade buildings had recently been insured/
Plus Building 7 was full of documents on corporate fraud/
FBI, CIA, NSA records/
Rumsfeld said 2 trillion was un-accounted for/
The day after the offices involved were no more/
And so on, the moon landing wasn't faked/
But Dodi Fayed and Princess Diana's death wasn't a mistake/
14 cameras in the tunnel and none of them had tape/
"Oh it must have been the driver, he was drunk and in a state"/
Not the royal family scared of a Muslim heir/
Got MI6 on the line so they could bump the pair/
Just like Jill Dando ‘bout to expose the pedophiles/
That Operation Yew Tree have only now got on trial/
And what's goin on with the Rothschilds?/
While the globe haemorrhages money they stockpile/
They invested in war, then leant ‘em some more/
Collected debts, and now are we in debt to them all?/
Refugees, people say we don't want them now/
They're only here cos we paid our government to bomb their towns/
What came first, the terrorist who decided to attack/
Or the antagonists that killed his family and that?/
We get fed that Islam preaches hate/
And look at the States were Christian based apes up the murder rate/
And it's easiest for us to click on a pic of a cat/
To cheer ourselves up instead of dealing with that//